I know it’s ominous to post a post like my last one and then not post for weeks, but everything is going well. Just really really busy. So what have I been doing for the last several weeks? Lots of things. So many things. This may come as a surprise but having two kids makes your life pretty busy. And that can make finding balance a little difficult. But I’m working on it and here’s a pictorial of what my balance has been lately
Going on walks with Marci. Everyday I try to get out the house for an hour or so of walking. We’ve been having great weather lately (except for yesterday when it rained literally all day) and it’s been super enjoyable.
Nature. This is a meadow we pass on our daily walks. It’s just dandelions and purple clover, but I love it.
Noticing the small things like this curly grass. I think this is actually the top of some wild onions. Regardless of what it is, I think it’s really pretty.
Playing with cousins. I’m pretty sure he gave her her first drink of soda that day, but it’s okay–she had so much fun. Probably because she was on a caffeine high…
Spending time with the family. Stella loves holding Marci. Luckily, Marci’s too heavy and too long for Stella to pick up on her own or Stella would be trying to carry her everywhere.
And that pretty much sums up what I’ve been doing lately. I mean, there have been a few other things (yoga, Pilates, a bit of work, some organization projects), but mainly that’s it. Pretty boring and awesome all at the same time.
The last few days have been really rough for me and my little family. Stella had some sort of stomach virus that lasted for almost 2 full weeks. She didn’t feel bad, she just had explosive… well, just explosive everything. And she needed me. Not all the time. Sometimes Sean would suffice. But when she felt really bad, she needed me. When she was tired or thirsty or hungry, she needed me.
That’s fine really. I’m used to being needed. It kind of comes with the “mom” territory.
What I’m not used to is being needed by two people. Marci needs me too and since she’s still in the fourth trimester, I’m really the only one that meets her needs. With Marci touching me for what feels like 24 hours a day and Stella needing comfort those same 24 hours a day (not to mention the dogs needing food, etc), I just need a break from being needed.
For me, easily the hardest part of transitioning from 1 child to 2 children is that they both need me so much. I know, I know. That sounds horrible. But hear me out. I have 2 kids under the age of 3. Both of them need me and one of them needs me pretty much 24/7. I have to make some choices that I didn’t have to make when Stella was a newborn. I have to prioritize the needs of each child and I don’t like that.
It’s hard, this parenting thing. No one says it’s easy, but no one can really tell you how hard it is to be needed all.the.time. Parenting is one of those things that legitimately cannot accurately be described. Being needed so much is just exhausting. Mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting.
It’s not all doom and gloom though. Even though all the neediness is exhausting me right now, I’m overjoyed. That word is really inadequate to describe how it feels to know that you made such awesome little people, but it’s the best I can do in my exhausted state. That’s what being a parent really is: a mixture of being overwhelmed by the needs of your offspring and being overwhelmed by the joy your offspring bring you by just being themselves. And maybe a dash of just wanting to finish your hot beverage while it’s still hot.
Over the last month I’ve spent a LOT of time reading. Like a lot a lot. Most of the books I’ve been reading are about medieval Europe. I’m not sure why; that’s just how it worked out. Anyway. One of the things I’ve learned from one of these books is that April Fool’s Day came about when the Gregorian Calendar was accepted and changed New Year’s Day from April 1 to January 1. As it turns out, that’s not actually true–probably. The timing of the acceptance of the Gregorian Calendar doesn’t jive with early mentions of April Fool’s Day (Chaucer mentions it in the Canterbury Tales, but the calendar wasn’t accepted in England until the mid-18th century). Regardless, April Fool’s Day is probably tied to early celebrations of the arrival of spring, which always included pranks and mentions of fools.
I’ll stop boring you with my history nerd knowledge, but all of that did have a point and it was this: I hate pranks and practical jokes. Always have. Some are admittedly funny, but generally I think they’re just mean. At least, I think they’re mean when they’re personal. I tend to really enjoy the less personal prank news stories and such. For example, Kindle Author or Burger King’s New Fragrance. So, you can imagine how amused I was when I popped over to Amazon this morning to order some
diapers really cool new product and saw Amazon’s new Dash Button.*
Am I the only one who hates April Fool’s Day pranks? Based on my own research, yes.
But this doesn’t mean that I hate April Fool’s Day. In fact, I really like like it because it’s the anniversary of the day I met Sean. Meeting on April Fool’s Day was, thankfully, not a forecast of how our relationship would turn out. This year is the 9th (!!!) anniversary of our meeting and I still get that fluttery feeling in my stomach when I see him.
Ah. Young-ish love.
*Apparently, the Dash Button is actually a Thing. I think it’s really neat and have now signed up to hopefully get one.