Two Month Update!

Time flies! I can’t believe it’s already been (almost) two months since Baby S was born. Really. I legitimately can’t believe she’s that old already.

I know I didn’t do a  one month update (turns out having a newborn is time consuming. Who knew?), but she has changed so much since she was one m0nth old. She smiles all the time now, makes silly faces and coos, she tries to mimic whatever facial expressions we make, kicks her feet, reaches for things with her hands… the list goes on and on, but the point is this: she’s so much more active than she was a month ago. IMG_1429

Yesterday was her two month checkup at the pediatrician. She’s almost 22 inches tall now, meaning she’s grown three inches since she was born. To me that sounds like a lot, but it only puts her in the 10th percentile, so maybe not. She finally weighs 8lbs, meaning she finally gained a pound since birth. I’m a little worried that she so tiny, but the pediatrician isn’t. I guess she’s just going to be petite. She also got a couple of vaccines, which were terrible. For me, I mean. She seemed to forget about them quickly, even though she just wanted to be in her baby carrier for the rest of the day. Of course, I’m fine with her being in her carrier all day since I have a bit of separation anxiety about going back to work on Monday.

IMG_1431

On a more fun and less anxiety inducing note, when I looked at the picture of her all mad and waving her arms around I realized that I had put rattles on her arms. Rattles that make rattling squeaky noises. In a house with two large dogs, I’ve made my child sound like a dog toy. Parenting fail.

There’s always a but…

I’m going back to work on Monday, five short days from today. In a country with no legal requirement for maternity leave (the FMLA doesn’t really count), paid or otherwise, I’ve been lucky to work for an employer willing to give me almost nine weeks of leave, the majority of which has been paid. I know that. BUT. It doesn’t make going back any easier.

IMG_1373

I’m having a much harder time with this than I expected. I really like my job and I miss it. Especially the part where I see and interact with other adults. BUT. I also love love love staying home with Stella. Our days have fallen into a rhythm–there’s no real schedule, but there is a definite rhythm these days–and I’m going to miss that. In a perfect world (or any other first world country), I wouldn’t have to consider leaving my baby for at least 6 months. But I digress. The point isn’t that the US needs a complete overhaul of its basically nonexistent support system for new mothers. No, the point is that on Monday I’m going to take my not quite nine week old baby and leave her in the care of strangers while I go to work. And I’m not ready for that.

IMG_1386

 

Intellectually I know that she’ll be fine. I know that the strangers I’m going to leave her with are trained and that the daycare/preschool she’s going to is state registered and complaint free. I know that she’ll be well taken care of. BUT. I worry anyway. What if she thinks I’ve abandoned her? What if she likes her caretakers more than me? What if she won’t eat for them? What if pumping doesn’t work out and I start having milk supply issues? Or, worst of all, what if I forget all the things she likes?

IMG_1394

In the end, I know this worries are unfounded. I know that she’ll always like me better than her caretakers (at least until she’s a teenager), that she wont think I’ve abandoned her, that pumping wont affect my milk supply, and that I won’t forget all the little things she likes doing. I know all that. BUT. Knowing that doesn’t mean there won’t be a lot of tears on Monday morning (mine, of course).

Any advice for dealing with the first day of daycare?

Working on my fitness: Postpartum edition

Baby S. was born a little over seven weeks ago (feels more like seven minutes ago…) and, I have to admit, it took me a few weeks to get back into an exercise routine. Before I was pregnant and even during pregnancy, I had a 7 day a week exercise habit. I mean, I’ve never been super buff or anything, but every day I did yoga and/or some sort of cardio for at least an hour. The day before I went into labor I walked 2 miles and had a nice hour long yoga practice.

That was the last time I did yoga or anything resembling exercise (other than birthing a baby) for three weeks.

After Baby S. was born days and nights blended together for a while and I just didn’t realize how much time was passing for a while. Then when I finally did realize it had been two weeks since I’d done anything other than play with the baby, I was a little too sore to do anything too strenuous. Since my body was tight and tense, I felt like I needed to do something anyway so I found a postnatal yoga class focusing on shoulder and heart opening. Even though it was only a 20 minute long sequence, that practice was an important milestone for me. It’s what brought be out of my postpartum haze and reminded me that even though I’m a mom now, I’m still me.

Since then, I’ve had a goal of doing yoga or taking a walk everyday. Why? It’s not about losing weight; I’ve already lost 25 of the 30 pounds I gained during pregnancy. Nope, this is mainly about being healthy and making time for myself. It doesn’t work out all the time, but that’s okay. It’s a work in progress. So, for accountability, I’m doing a 30 day fitness challenge. Everyday for 30 days I’ll do some sort of fitness activity for at least 30 minutes. I won’t kid myself and say I’ll blog about it everyday (I think we all know that’s not going to happen), but I will post a summary once a week.

IMG_0650Me and Baby S out for a walk earlier this week. 

The main problem (other than time) with working out after having a baby is that my strength hasn’t fully returned yet. My body is healing but not fully healed yet. My midwife gave me the okay to start exercising again, but said to take it slow. Any suggestions for postpartum exercise?

 

Is it spring already?

I can’t believe it’s already the middle of March! Time really got away from me this winter and, at least according to Mother Nature today, it’s almost spring. It’s sunny and warm (almost 70!) here today, so S. and I took Baby S and the dogs to the park. Here’s how it went down…

IMG_1340

Baby S. was initially not super excited about the park…

IMG_1346

But later she was so excited she fell asleep in the ergo.

IMG_1347

Oh well. The bear dogs were excited enough for all of us!

Hope you’re enjoying your almost spring Saturday as well!

On balance

I started this blog to document my attempt to find balance in my life. After almost four years (!!!) of blogging, it’s safe to say that I’ve never managed to find that. Sometimes my life is necessarily more focused on family or myself or my work. And the blog usually reflects that. I say usually because I don’t typically write about my work that much partially because of that pesky attorney-client privilege thing, but mostly because what I do isn’t really that interesting to people who aren’t lawyers.

Anywho, right now there’s essentially zero balance in my life. Zip. Zilch. Nada. For the last seven weeks (roughly), my entire being has revolved around learning to be a mom to the cutest baby girl of all time (Fact. There has never been a cuter baby. I heard it from a completely objective source… okay. I’m the source.) and I don’t really expect to have anything resembling balance in my life for at least a few more months. Probably longer. Here’s the weird thing: I’m okay with that. I love being a mom and I love taking care of Baby S. I mean, I still need time for myself, but fo the most part I’m very okay with my life balance being skewed toward motherhood and all things baby related.

So what does this mean for all of you? Well… It means you’re probably going to see a lot of baby related posts from me for a while. That’s not to say this is going to become a mommy blog (which I love reading btw), but being a mom is kinda what my life is focused on these days. I’ll try to talk about other things, but I spend most of my time with this cutie so can you really blame me?

Holy Crap! I have a baby!

You probably already guessed by my long absence, but in case you didn’t notice that I’ve been gone for about 6 weeks… I had a baby! A baby that is currently showing all signs that she’s waking up from a nap, so I’ll have make this short.

In my last update, at 38 weeks, I mentioned that my due date was only 8 days away. Well. Exactly eight days after that, I went into labor. I’ll give you guys a more detailed birth story later on, so for now I’ll just say everything went great and Baby S. made her appearance at precisely 7 am on January 24th.

IMG_0824

Baby S on her birthday

IMG_0405

S with Baby S minutes after she was born

Look for a more complete update in the next few days!