I’m one of those people…

You know, those people who wait in line for the release of new products or the opening of stores. I never thought I would be, but Saturday morning I somehow ended up in a line for the new Apple Store at Fayette Mall. By way of explanation, my actual presence at the store on Saturday was intentional; I was going there to buy the iPhone 4 for Hubby for our anniversary that’s coming up this week. It was the standing in line part that still confuses me; I don’t know how it happened! I assumed, wrongly, that I would stroll in, grab an iphone, and be on my merry way in a matter of minutes.

I went to the mall on Saturday morning at 9am, because I thought that’s when the mall opened. Fun fact: the mall opens then, but the stores don’t open until 10. So I went in  and was instantly bombarded with hordes of 70 year old power-walkers. I struggled through the stampeding mall walkers for a couple of minutes, then, as if by magic, the wall of senior power walkers parted and I saw it. The largest collection of under-30 socially awkward people I have ever seen in one place.

At this point, I was feeling a little nervous and not just because I’m socially awkward and a little agoraphobic. No, I was beginning to get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.Something told me this crowd of hipster misfits were all there for the same reason as I was: the Apple Store.

I kept walking and eventually made my way to the store itself. I was pretty sad when I realized it wasn’t even open yet (and neither was anything else in the mall) and a little amused when I realized that there were several deputies standing in front of it. They weren’t in line, I assume they were there in case the apple fanatics (who are known for their strength) began rioting or something.

At this point, I was ready to call it quits. Surely I could come back later and they would still have iPhones, right? That’s what I thought to myself as I walked towards the end of the line. I was really just seeing how long it was, but when I got to the end I stood there for a moment and pulled out my phone to call the Hubby. Right then, two things happened simultaneously. Some guy stood behind me and made a remark about not expecting a line and one of the Apple employs started asking me questions. I don’t really know what happened but somehow I got distracted and the next thing I knew 45 mins had passed and I had decided to just stay in the line. I also spent a great deal of time ducking being the pale-balding-guy-who-probably-left-his-house-for-the-first-time-this-year-to-go-to-the-Apple-Store-opening standing in front of me to avoid being photographed by the newspaper and videoed by the news crews. Because no one wants photographic evidence of themselves standing in line to get a product that was released a month earlier except the pale balding guy in front of me, who was posing for the cameras.

BTW this was also the longest amount of time I’ve ever spent in close proximity to Hot Topic, which is where the line ended when I somehow joined it without really noticing. By the time the store actually opened, the line was out the mall entrance and I was spending some quality time being bombarded by the bad music and overpowering perfume emitting from Hollister.

To sum up, by 11:30 I left the mall with a new iphone for Hubby, a replacement phone for me, and status as the best wife ever. But, of course all this means I missed free yoga at Woodland park. Did anyone go?


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