Adventures in Yoga

Last night I finally talked my husband into doing yoga with me. What an experience.

First, he didn’t want to take off his socks. Or his shoes for that matter. He claims that his flat feet make it difficult to maintain his balance if he’s barefoot. Whatever. I was so excited that he agreed to try yoga that I didn’t really care if he did it in his royal blue Nike Shocks.

The next obstacle: my husband didn’t have a mat. I have my newish beloved yoga mat, but he had nothing. So, he spread a blanket on the floor. Which would be fine, except the floors are wooden and slick… you can imagine the possibilities for lawsuits that could ensue. But he eventually figured the whole standing-on-blanket-on-hard-wood thing out and we were ready to start. So, I opened up itunes and pressed play on my favorite nighttime yoga sequence (Lunar Flow 1 from Yoga Download) and we settled onto our mat and blanket.

I could say that things were uneventful and my husband had a life changing yoga experience. But that’s not what happened. We were at my mother-in-law’s house, so we couldn’t put our two dogs into their kennels. Before I continue a word about my dogs… they are not of the carry in your purse variety. A friend of mine calls them bear dogs. They’re both mixed breeds (I hate the word mutt) that we got from the Humane Society and they got a LOT bigger than expected. The bigger one, Allie, is part border-collie and part something much much much bigger. She weighs around 70 pounds. Grace, the smaller one, is part black lab and part something only sllightly smaller. She weighs about 65 pounds. So, yes, they do resemble bear cubs at times and, yes, they may attempt to eat small dogs, cats, children, and some adults. But they’re really sweet! I promise.

Anyway, so the dogs were in the room with us. As soon as I hit play and we sat on our mats (or ratty old blanket), we were surrounded my two very happy, very lick-ey dogs who thought we were settling in for wrestling play time. So, I’m sitting on my mat, in my comfortable sitting position, my palms turned upward, and my heart-center open, when out of nowhere, I get hit in right check (of my face, get your head out of the gutter) with a furry stick, a.k.a. Grace’s tail. It was easy enough to maintain my zen-like expression and work on centering myself despite being hit over and over with a furry stick (she was very excited that we were on the floor). What broke my concentration was when Allie started licking my upturned palms. I can only assume she thought I was holding food. My husband was less successful at ignoring their loving onslaughts and started giggling. That’s right giggling. I hissed at him to just ignore them. He giggled more but complied. After about five minutes, they got bored with us and settled onto the couch. And, yes, they took up the entire couch.

After they bear cubs got finished with us, I assumed that things would go smoothly. For the most part, I was correct. I learned several things about my husband from yoga. 1. He giggles when being licked by dogs and sitting in a comfortable sitting position. 2. He can’t do downward facing dog. He said it was because he hurt his palm playing basketball. I don’t completly buy that. But I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. 3. He has very very tight shoulders. Or maybe, I have very very loose shoulder. And so on… The list could go on forever, so lets just say that he’s not that flexible and move on. Besides, it was only his first time trying yoga.

We finally made it to Savasana. My favorite part of the practice. I find it so relaxing to just lay and breathe. I actually do this to help myself sleep at night sometimes. I was lying there is Savasana when my feet, which were gently drifting towards the mat, were suddenly pressed very hard toward the mat by a large, warm, furry coat worn by Allie. Now, you may be wondering how a seventy pound bear-like animal can sneak up on someone so much that laying on that person’s feet occurs suddenly. I have no answer to that, except that I was intent on my Savasana that I didn’t feel the floor shake when she jumped off the couch or hear her nails clicking on the floor as she walked toward me. My husband did though. I know that because as my feet were being rudely ground toward my mat, he was giggling again.

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